Yes, we made it a week! Friday last week was a test for us… both Joe and I wanted to say screw it and get fast food for lunch and/or dinner. But we didn’t. We managed to hold off, perhaps because neither of us wanted to leave the house, but regardless, we made it.
Joe made a homemade lasagne on Sunday and it was fantastic. He used whole grain lasagne noodles, which to me, does make a difference in the taste, but one I can live with. He used light ricotta, fresh spinach, and our favorite jarred sauce. Yes, jarred sauce. He usually makes his own sauce, but this was a rush job and required immediate saucing. Our favorite sauce: Classico Sausage and Peppers. It’s rich with the teeniest bite and has big chunks of green and red peppers. (And I’m not a fan of green peppers!) The great thing is that because we are a family of 3, this lasagne will last for several days unless we freeze it. We are serving a 3×3 inch square piece and we had a huge salad with it, complete with romaine, tomatoes, and shredded mozzarella with light Italian. YUM!
We decided the other day that Joe will continue to do the grocery shopping, at least for a few more weeks, if not longer. I’ve never been a great grocery shopper when it comes to buying from a list. Sure, I can get what’s on the list… but I ALWAYS end up with more than I find on the list, especially snack foods. Joe is a very disciplined grocery shopper. RARELY does he get anything not on the list, and if he does, it’s ONE loaf of bakery bread because it was freshly baked or ONE frozen meal that looked interesting and tasty or ONE cut of meat that is on sale… you get the idea. Me, I usually get home with 2 bags of Cheetos because we haven’t had them in awhile or 2 bags of M&Ms because they’ll look good in the cut crystal candy dish or a dozen donuts because tomorrow is Friday. Who’s with me?
I figured out one thing about myself so far. My appetite is a spoiled toddler. We’ve all known someone who has a toddler who is so incredibly spoiled, the parent gives in and gives her every little tiny thing she whines for just so she will STOP MAKING NOISE! It’s just easier to give in than to deal with the main issue… saying NO and dealing with the consequences.
My appetite is that spoiled todder. I’ve spent DECADES giving into everything she wants. Candy? Sure. Donuts? Why not. Cookies? They’re fresh. Mac and cheese? Who doesn’t like seeing a little kid enjoying their mac and cheese? The alternative is to listen to her whine endlessly… by way of hunger pangs, headaches, shakiness and blurred vision. Sometimes, the hunger can be like a panic attack. There’s this feeling that if I don’t consume exactly what that damned brat wants, I’ll pass out. So, I’ve spent many many years spoiling her and giving here whatever she wants whenever she wants it.
And Joe has been my incredibly supportive enabler, giving in to the voracious little beast… um… brat… whenever she whines to him. He makes such wonderful cookies and breads! He missed his calling as a baker, quite frankly. He’s made bagels, donuts, english muffins, cheesecakes, pumpkin spice cakes, drop cookies, chocolate this and yummy, heavenly that. Hence, my spoiled little hunger monster claps her hands with delight and devours whatever he makes. It’s a win-win(-win) because she gets to eat, I feel satisfied because she’s not bitching at me anymore, and he gets a happy, satisfied wife.
Right now, at 8:36 at night, 2 hours post lasagne, my little food mongrel is whining. She wants something sweeeeeettt to end the day. I have two choices: We have enough grapes for my breakfast so I don’t want to eat those. So choice #1: I can ignore her and the teeny headache I’m developing (despite pain relievers) will throb into a monster migraine-like pain. Or choice #2: I can grab 2 (and ONLY 2) Stickos and make them last awhile. It is an hour after the Plan states I can have an evening snack, but a headache will only make things that much worse to the point that I give in to my toddler and give her the entire can of Stickos. (These are cookies that are similar to Pirouette cookies by Pepperidge Farms, except the tube part is lighter and the filling is soft. We get them at the Asian market Uwajamaya. 4 of them is a serving, so 2 is a nice snack.)
Will she EVER grow up? Will she ever just let me eat what I need to and not DEMAND that I give in to her childish demands to run amok in the bakery or candy store? I wish I could just stick a sock in her ever-widening mouth so she’d at least shut up and let me get on with my life. Perhaps someday, if I’m successful with the Plan, she will finally grow up and be satisfied with what I’ve always lovingly called “adult food.”
I am an incredibly lucky woman, though. I was heavy when my husband fell in love with me. We met over the computer, pre-Web, and I sent him a picture of me. Not only did he not disappear (like a few guys I’d met online before him had), but he actually still expressed interest in meeting me! He is notoriously anti-photo, so when we met, all I had to go on was barrel-chested, dark hair, dark eyes, and tall. He never led me to believe he was built or handsome; he was honest, as was I. But when he finally did lay eyes on me, he hugged me and said, “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” <swoon>
Despite trying diets, surgery, and eating healthy, my weight has fluctuated tremendously. But Joe has NEVER said a word other than he wants me to be healthy so we can be together for a long time. He prefers a rounded woman with curves and flesh, so he’s quite happy with what he sees and feels. <blush> And I love him even more for accepting me for who and what I am, regardless how others might see me. He’s working on adapting some of those tasty treats he makes to be whole grain (whole wheat is NOT good enough), low or no sugar, and low fat. I know they are still not calorie-free, but at least my toddler will be satisfied with a touch of sweet occasionally that is otherwise mostly healthy.
Okay, enough of my philosophizing for one night. I actually typed through my craving for something sweet! Woohoo!
Off to bed. Night!