DAY 7! Made it a WEEK!

Yes, we made it a week!  Friday last week was a test for us… both Joe and I wanted to say screw it and get fast food for lunch and/or dinner.  But we didn’t.  We managed to hold off, perhaps because neither of us wanted to leave the house, but regardless, we made it.

Joe made a homemade lasagne on Sunday and it was fantastic.  He used whole grain lasagne noodles, which to me, does make a difference in the taste, but one I can live with.  He used light ricotta, fresh spinach, and our favorite jarred sauce.  Yes, jarred sauce.  He usually makes his own sauce, but this was a rush job and required immediate saucing.  Our favorite sauce:  Classico Sausage and Peppers.  It’s rich with the teeniest bite and has big chunks of green and red peppers.  (And I’m not a fan of green peppers!)  The great thing is that because we are a family of 3, this lasagne will last for several days unless we freeze it.  We are serving a 3×3 inch square piece and we had a huge salad with it, complete with romaine, tomatoes, and shredded mozzarella with light Italian.  YUM!

We decided the other day that Joe will continue to do the grocery shopping, at least for a few more weeks, if not longer.  I’ve never been a great grocery shopper when it comes to buying from a list.  Sure, I can get what’s on the list… but I ALWAYS end up with more than I find on the list, especially snack foods.  Joe is a very disciplined grocery shopper.  RARELY does he get anything not on the list, and if he does, it’s ONE loaf of bakery bread because it was freshly baked or ONE frozen meal that looked interesting and tasty or ONE cut of meat that is on sale… you get the idea.  Me, I usually get home with 2 bags of Cheetos because we haven’t had them in awhile or 2 bags of M&Ms because they’ll look good in the cut crystal candy dish or a dozen donuts because tomorrow is Friday.  Who’s with me?

I figured out one thing about myself so far.  My appetite is a spoiled toddler.  We’ve all known someone who has a toddler who is so incredibly spoiled, the parent gives in and gives her every little tiny thing she whines for just so she will STOP MAKING NOISE!  It’s just easier to give in than to deal with the main issue… saying NO and dealing with the consequences.

My appetite is that spoiled todder.  I’ve spent DECADES giving into everything she wants.  Candy?  Sure.  Donuts?  Why not.  Cookies?  They’re fresh.  Mac and cheese?  Who doesn’t like seeing a little kid enjoying their mac and cheese?  The alternative is to listen to her whine endlessly… by way of hunger pangs, headaches, shakiness and blurred vision.  Sometimes, the hunger can be like a panic attack.  There’s this feeling that if I don’t consume exactly what that damned brat wants, I’ll pass out.  So, I’ve spent many many years spoiling her and giving here whatever she wants whenever she wants it.

And Joe has been my incredibly supportive enabler, giving in to the voracious little beast… um… brat… whenever she whines to him.  He makes such wonderful cookies and breads!  He missed his calling as a baker, quite frankly.  He’s made bagels, donuts, english muffins, cheesecakes, pumpkin spice cakes, drop cookies, chocolate this and yummy, heavenly that.  Hence, my spoiled little hunger monster claps her hands with delight and devours whatever he makes.  It’s a win-win(-win) because she gets to eat, I feel satisfied because she’s not bitching at me anymore, and he gets a happy, satisfied wife.

Right now, at 8:36 at night, 2 hours post lasagne, my little food mongrel is whining.  She wants something sweeeeeettt to end the day.  I have two choices:  We have enough grapes for my breakfast so I don’t want to eat those.  So choice #1:  I can ignore her and the teeny headache I’m developing (despite pain relievers) will throb into a monster migraine-like pain.  Or choice #2:  I can grab 2 (and ONLY 2) Stickos and make them last awhile.  It is an hour after the Plan states I can have an evening snack, but a headache will only make things that much worse to the point that I give in to my toddler and give her the entire can of Stickos.  (These are cookies that are similar to Pirouette cookies by Pepperidge Farms, except the tube part is lighter and the filling is soft.  We get them at the Asian market Uwajamaya.  4 of them is a serving, so 2 is a nice snack.)

Will she EVER grow up?  Will she ever just let me eat what I need to and not DEMAND that I give in to her childish demands to run amok in the bakery or candy store?  I wish I could just stick a sock in her ever-widening mouth so she’d at least shut up and let me get on with my life.  Perhaps someday, if I’m successful with the Plan, she will finally grow up and be satisfied with what I’ve always lovingly called “adult food.” 

I am an incredibly lucky woman, though.  I was heavy when my husband fell in love with me.  We met over the computer, pre-Web, and I sent him a picture of me.  Not only did he not disappear (like a few guys I’d met online before him had), but he actually still expressed interest in meeting me!  He is notoriously anti-photo, so when we met, all I had to go on was barrel-chested, dark hair, dark eyes, and tall.  He never led me to believe he was built or handsome; he was honest, as was I.  But when he finally did lay eyes on me, he hugged me and said, “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”  <swoon>

Despite trying diets, surgery, and eating healthy, my weight has fluctuated tremendously.  But Joe has NEVER said a word other than he wants me to be healthy so we can be together for a long time.  He prefers a rounded woman with curves and flesh, so he’s quite happy with what he sees and feels.  <blush>  And I love him even more for accepting me for who and what I am, regardless how others might see me.  He’s working on adapting some of those tasty treats he makes to be whole grain (whole wheat is NOT good enough), low or no sugar, and low fat.  I know they are still not calorie-free, but at least my toddler will be satisfied with a touch of sweet occasionally that is otherwise mostly healthy.

Okay, enough of my philosophizing for one night.  I actually typed through my craving for something sweet!  Woohoo!

Off to bed.  Night!


Day 6 – Weekend and Weather!!

Greetings… I almost didn’t post a blog tonight because I’m just out of sorts today.  I don’t know what it is, just a general feeling of malaise.  Just a “don’t bug me” kinda mood.  BUT… it IS the weekend.  I’ll tell you all about my job sometime this week.   It’s not overly taxing physically at all.  It can be a mental challenge at times, though.  Just suffice to say I’m just brain tired.

AND we made it 1 week on the new plan!  Woot!  We’re going to get a Papa Murphy’s cheese and onion pizza tomorrow.  Their smallest size which should be more than enough.  Woot!  We had the best dinner today!  Joe got some nice big baking potatoes, and we had a variety of toppings.  And for the first time ever, the Kid ate his baked potato!  I think he’s got the clue that he either eats what we eat or he will go hungry.  He will learn to eat healthy!  So we had steamed brocolli, salt and pepper, green onions, bacon bits, cheddar cheese grated fine, and while I used cottage cheese for my dairy topping, Joe used fat free sour cream.  This was the best dinner we’ve had in a long time!  So satisfying and as long as we kept the cheese and bacon bits to a minimum (and we did), it’s pretty healthy, too.

Yes, it’s late Saturday night in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.  It has been raining just about all day and WE LOVE IT!  It’s after 11 p.m. and the boys have headed off to bed.  I’m downstairs at my gaming PC with the cats.  It is so quiet… I hear our Scottish Fold cat snorting occasionally, the faint tick of the battery operated clock on the wall, occasional whirring from my desktop computer, and the click-clack of the keyboard.  Every so often, a car spashes past the house so I know it’s still raining.

THIS is why we moved to Oregon.  THIS weather.  The chilly overcast and rainy days and invigorate us so much.  We got this in the SF bay area in California over the winter, but not this early and not this calm.  EVER.  There is just something about the sun-free days that bring calm to our hearts and minds here.  I know the overwhelming majority of my reads (and my local friends) will disagree with me on this point year after year.  For some reason, most people want sunny and warm (not hot necessarily) days so they can go out and do activities with their families, but not us.  Rainy days will usually find out out driving around, finding peace and strength in the cool rain.

And being the weekend, we did some chores this morning… the Kid can now vacuum without his headphones on, Joe did some cooking, and I cleaned a bathroom.  Done.  LOL!  Then we did our favorite activities.  The Kid spent some time on his computer, working on levels on a Mario simulation program he found somewhere, and Joe and I played World of Warcraft.  Yes… I’m a gamer.  It is one of the things I find most fun in life.  Now if I could only find a way to play while on an exercise bike, I’d be beside myself with glee.

Speaking of glee, the show “Glee” will be coming back in the next few weeks and I couldn’t be happier to see a show return.  That show is so fun to watch, and we are especially happy to see Jane Lynch get recognition after so many years of loving her work.  She is priceless as Charlie’s psychiatrist on “Two and a Half Men,” but you have to catch her in some of the Christopher Guest mocumentaries to truly appreciate her talent.  I suggest “A Mighty Wind” in which she has a sizeable part.  She is amazing and very opposite of Sue Sylvester, her character in “Glee.”

Well, I’m done with WoW for the day and my eye are getting heavy-lidded, so I’m off to bed.  I hope your weekend is as fun and relaxing as mine, especially with more rain in the forecast for the next several days.  <sigh>  Life is good.

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